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1. |
Learning Love
03:16
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Learning Love
The first time I said I love you, I was 15 on the receiving end and was told, "when someone says I love you, it's rude not to say it back”.
So I returned the love and ended up in a situation that was not meant for me, trying to appeal to the girlfriend I was supposed to me, knowing that I was so much better than that to begin with.
The verbal abuse was what made me turn from it, a shattered soul trying to run from it, I justified my stupidity by labeling it “love” when I knew that that could not be what love was supposed to feel like.
The next time I said I love you, it was a puppy too small for it’s feet.
My first love, my only real love, we entered each other’s lives too soon, I remember being 17 and certain we would spend the rest of our lives together.
Unplanned, yet perfectly planned, his life took a different direction.
He tells me he’s a happy man, so I smile and close that chapter.
The next time I said I love you, I said I love you to lust.
A man who knew my vulnerability so much better than me
He taught me how to let someone get inside me, learn my thoughts, my wants, my spirit, and my body
But then he used it against me, pinned my insecurities against me,
I thought that he taught me how to trust but instead he taught me to forget my gut
I lost myself.
He lost me, because I lost myself.
And then I slipped and said I love you
To time, and a depiction of what on paper looked good, and the sex was so good, but we will never be on the same page
So history had you saying you love me, but who are we kidding?
I love you as a friend with damn good benefits, because in the meantime it fits,
But as long as this was, we still knew that it would be short-lived
So I’m finally giving this up, this was never real, love.
And then I meant it, and said I love you.
To my best friend, my soul mate, the ideal man.
Loved him overwhelmingly, a love that I had never known so we put a simple title on a relationship too complex to define
Because someone told us that we needed to put a title on it
Because boys and girls can’t just be friends, and it made me sad when we didn’t agree on us, or marriage, or our destiny
And yes we are destined to be, so please don’t leave when I don’t say I do because I still really love you, and I definitely need you
I’m learning that time defines the relationship, and I’ve just got to be patient
So the next time I say I love you, I’ll do it right.
I’ll say it when the timing feels good and we lock eyes,
When I’m sure that your soul and mind were built for us to intertwine
When our love is paired with progress in ourselves and as a people
When I look at you and see my counterpart and equal
So while I’ve learned so much in a past I thought was true,
I’ll know that it was all that I needed for me to rightfully love you.
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2. |
Newness
04:28
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Newness
He said take it slow
Theres no way that we could ever know
What destiny has planned, for you and me
He said let it go
Let’s not act like we already know
What detours lie ahead, before you get to me
But I’m starting to feel some kind of way
I’m starting to feel some kind of way
But I don’t know where this is going
I said let me know
If there’s any way that I could show you
Just how sure I am
That you’re meant for me
So that even though,
I’m not ready for where this may go
You’re sure that when I am,
You’ll be the first to know
‘Cause I’m starting to feel some kind of way
I’m starting to feel some kind of way
But I don’t know where this is going
I’ve been searching, searching, searching,
For a love like this
Someone told me love would find me,
Somehow that brought me peace
And the details of our future seem so damn clear
That I suggest that we step back, until we both get there
And I don’t want to get in the way of us
So imam let this transpire into agape love
Cause I’m starting to feel some kind of way
I’m starting to feel some kind of way
But I don’t know where this is going
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3. |
Seasons
02:24
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Seasons
Sometimes you know something that is so beautiful,
You know it could only be from God
That’s how you make me feel,
And I know that this thing is real
Cause every time I’m ‘round you, man
I feel alive
When I first met you, I cussed you out
And told you that you wasn’t really what you said you were about
But then I got to know you
And you were so intellectual,
I knew I had no choice but to be cool with you
We became best friends,
Thought that it would never end
Then one big fight and things came tumbling down
But then He intervened
Helped us both open up and see
Let down our pride apologized and now it’s like there was no in-between
And we’re both better now, doing much better now
We don’ got our shit together now
It’s funny how things work out
And how sometimes faith trumps doubt
But we’re doing better now
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4. |
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5. |
Quarter Mile
02:58
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Quarter Mile
You had me at hello
A tad cliché, yes I know
But I don’t quite remember the first things you said to me
But I’m quite sure I’ve liked you since that first track meet
There is something that keeps me running, right on back to you
It’s so funny how I keep on running, right on back to you
The funny thing is, I knew it the first time we locked eyes
And it’s been such a long time, and you’re still here in my life
There is no other reason besides fate that you’ve got a hold of me
And if my heart’s beating I’ll do all I can to make you feel the same for me
There is something that keeps me running, right on back to you
It’s so funny how I keep on running, right on back to you
There’s a safety in your arms
And no one has the charm you have on me
It keeps me running back to you
I know I’ve been running away ‘stead of towards and I’ll make it up to you
From now on I promise if I’m ever running, I’ll be right next to you
I know I’ve been running away ‘stead of towards and I’ll make it up to you
From now on I promise if I’m ever running, I’ll be right next to you
I love you, I love you yes I do
I love you, I love you yes I do
And I always have and I always will
And I always have and I always will
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Geminelle San Diego, California
Singer, songwriter, musician from San Diego. Plays ukulele, guitar, cajon, and RC30.
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